MY GAME IS (parody of "My Name Is" by Eminem. New Lyrics by Tim Richardson)

Hi! My game is (Life)…my game is (Clue)…My game is…Milton Bradley
Hi! My game is (Risk)…my game is (Sorry) My game is…Milton Bradley

Hey kids! Do you like Mousetrap? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna use real cheese, a cage and a live rat? (uh huh!)
Wanna play Stratego and find out where the flag’s at? (yeah yeah!)
And try to keep track of where the stupid guy’s spy’s at (huh?)
I got me a blister last time I played Twister
With my friend’s grandma, his dog and his dumb little sister (ewww)
My mom said, “Honey, you gotta stop, see?”
Nuh-uh “Come on stop please, enough with the Yahtzee”
Well, since age six I’ve been addicted to Risk
Screaming when I lose China and start shakin’ my fist
Get ticked off whenever Simon gets clicked off
In the middle of a sequence, a good way to get flipped off
I’m always the blue gingerbread man when I play Candyland
Headin’ to the Candy Castle runnin’ fast as I can
So long, sucker! “Hey, wait a minute, that my piece, dude!”
Too bad, man, this is Sorry, but I ain’t sorry, haha! You lose!

Hi! My game is (Life)…my game is (Clue)…My game is…Milton Bradley
Hi! My game is (Risk)…my game is (Sorry) My game is…Milton Bradley

Battleship’s a game of skill, ya gotta survive
So I move my ships around when he calls A-9 or B-5 (B-5!)
I’m always up for Parcheesi
Movin’ pawns real easy
Into the home circle after a dice roll of three, see? (woo hoo!)
One time I played Clue while I had a nasty flu
So I wiped out Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with some green spew (ew!)
That game ended sloppily, like when I stop and see
I landed on Boardwalk again in Monopoly (dammit!)
I’m pretty decent at Life, and that ain’t no lie
I get a few kids, a good job, and I’m rich when I die
I hate it when my dad makes up words and babbles
And uses Middle English whenever we play Scrabble
Or worse yet when mom invents strange stories
To justify an “X” word when we’re playing Scatergories
My uncle has a hay day and always wins at Payday
‘Cuz he’s a freak and a twerp and a bonafied C.P.A.

Hi! My game is (Life)…my game is (Clue)…My game is…Milton Bradley
Hi! My game is (Risk)…my game is (Sorry)  My game is…Milton Bradley