GRAPE MILE ROAD (parody of "8 Mile Road" by Eminem. New Lyrics by Tim Richardson)

Sometimes I just feel like shopping I just might

There’s one place to go where every store is within sight

Sometimes I get stuck at every damn light

I wanna turn left but I can’t so I turn right

Stupid me for driving here Saturday night

Cars are backed up everywhere there’s gonna be a fight

Packed in real tight, hit my brake lights

Almost up to TGIF’s but not quite

Along we crawl, and now we’re stalled

I wanna bawl, where is the mall?

‘Cross the toll road, I’m in slow mode

Stuck immobile here by Barnes and Noble

I’m far away from Steak ‘n Shake

Old Country Buffet and Media Play

Man, screw these slow cars, I’d settle for Wal-mart

Gas runnin’ out as I drive down this Grape Mile Road

This is whack, wanna grab me a snack

At Hacienda or Chili’s or the frickin’ Outback

Once I’m off this road I’ll never get back

And I’ll end up on Main with all that construction crap (Grape Mile Road)

Value City is cheap, if you don’t mind the creeps

Buy yourself a new jeep down at Gurley Leap

I'm always stuck behind a truck with a load

I can’t wait till I get off of this stupid Grape Mile Road