IMPOTENT (parody of "Infinite" by Eminem. New Lyrics by Tim Richardson)

Aiyyo!

My teeny weenie don’t get no action
All the girls be laughin' at my slacky act in the sack, shunned
A pain in the ass, son, my main vein lacks suspension
It looks minute and lacks just a fraction when I’m mackin'
Tried takin' pills to get me naked thrills
But nothin’s workin' and it won’t get up none still
I’m using creams and lotions hoping it’ll take effect
Help my little fella not be frightened and get erect
I’m such a wreck and check each morning if I’ve gotten up
Poppin' up, or if it’s still just floppin' stuff
Went to my urologist for a thorough examination
Evaluation of why I can’t rise up to the occasion
From intimidation of fornication
Gets real scared and hides in my pants without cooperation
I get impaired, intimidation, there ain’t no chance to be rising, upsizing
I turn the bed into a barren wasteland
I’m impotent

Little guy won’t swell, well I’m sick of it
If there’s a trick to it tell me now so I can finally get some width to it
It’s all such a big load of sh*t
Where’s the beef? Pre-empted, just remains a shrimpy stick
I’m impotent