Yo!

Butt is sweaty, knees creak, gut is heavy
There's hair on his back already like a yeti
He's forties, but lordy he sure looks unsteady
He should drop pounds, but he just keeps on letting
His ass grow round, his whole tao is to chow 
He opens his mouth, the food won't slow down
He's jogging now, he's really slogging now
His breath's run out, time out, whoa there, bloah!
Snapped back and two cavities, oh, the brutality
Oh, the mortality, doh! He's so fat but he won't
Give up his damn Twinkies, nope
He's getting' old and it shows
From his head to his toes
From his eyes to his nose
To his taste in his clothes
Got the middle age woes
Could be worse I suppose
That’s when he goes back to his lay-z-boy, yo
Takes a nap again again Better stop munching on fatty crap

You better lose some weight in the middle, this moment
You blowfish, you're getting way too old (old)
Better trim your ass with Slim Fast and H20
Throw the cookies away so your gut won’t grow (yo)

Eyesight’s fleeting, got bifocals for reading
His hair’s gray and receding
Everything is getting rusty, really untrusty
Can’t imagine how he’ll feel at fifty
How did this happen? Guess it’s just nature
You only grow older, get slumpier shoulders
Wrinkles start creasing and soon you’re deceasing
Blood pressure’s increasing a heavier load you’re
Lugging around a few pounds
Your butt’s dragging the ground, you’re no looker
You can’t get a second glance from a hooker
Maybe not so good your wife’s a good cooker
No fighting this process too bad you’re just stuck here
Buying stuff off those shows that propose
Your hair grows from their ointment
And creams that help slow the flow
Renew growth But the years go on you can’t outrun ‘em

You better lose some weight in the middle, this moment
You blowfish, you're getting way too old (old)
Better trim your ass with Slim Fast and H20
Throw the cookies away so your gut won’t grow (yo)

You’re pretty much a lost cause, man